click image to get your own Conan Hair portrait via Buzzfeed.com

The recent NBC “Tonight Show” battle has provided a wealth of video clips as each host and their supporters take on-air jabs at each other.

Of all the clips making the rounds this one may be the least current, but (in my opinion) it’s the most successful at making Leno look like a jerk.  Proving that no one does a better job of making Jay look like an a-hole than Jay, it’s a clip of Leno’s 2004 announcement of his plans to hand the Tonight Show over to Conan in 2009.

Some classic quotes:

When I took this show over, boy there was a lot of animosity between me and Dave and who’s going to get it, and quite frankly a lot of good friendships were permanently damaged and I don’t want to see anybody have to go through that again.

You know, this show is like a dynasty. You hold it and then you hand it off to the next person and I don’t want to see all the fighting and all the who’s better and nasty things back and forth in the press so right now, here it is:

Conan it’s yours. See you in five years, buddy.

As James Poniewozik points out in his post about the video

. . .the biggest danger to Leno among the audience is not his money, or sympathy for Conan, or the notion that he was somehow pulling the strings behind NBC’s decision. It’s being seen as a phony. Or, more to the point, actually being a phony.

People will forgive a lot of comedians they love. They’ll forgive affairs, offensive remarks, arrests, jokes that crossed a line. But they rely on guys like Leno to puncture other people’s phoniness and to have an impeccable B.S. detector. . .

My guess is Leno’s B.S. detector finally broke down from the stress of Leno setting it off himself so frequently.

Update: I found this clip of Conan’s 2004 announcement on Funny or Die & I thought it was worth including

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(photo credit: John Morris)

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. – Mahatma Gandhi

If you agree with Gandhi, then after reading the following two bits of news, you’ll likely agree that this nation’s greatness and moral progress have taken a couple of steps in the wrong direction.

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love animals. At times, I prefer them to people (I openly admit that while watching “Marley and Me”, I thought the ending would be far more bearable if they offed one of the kids instead of the dog).

So while The News is rarely uplifting these days, I found the most recent local broadcast especially depressing. I don’t mean to be a “Debbie Downer”, but I thought a couple of stories deserve some additional attention/awareness.

The first was, sadly, no huge surprise. The Ringling Brothers will be in San Diego soon, providing a timely backdrop for sharing this video footage from PETA of circus employees abusing the elephants.

Now I know PETA can be a tad extremist so I understand taking this story with a grain of salt. (Plus I seem to remember the Today Show alluding to this going on – so this isn’t exactly breaking news.) That said, with the option to watch both the latest Pixar and Disney releases in full 3D, is it really necessary for any animals to be beaten (or even slightly agitated) just for the sake of a couple of hour’s entertainment?

I mean really, if your kid’s old enough to tell the difference between a circus elephant and Snuffleupagus at Sesame on Ice, they’re probably too old to be taking to the circus anyhow. They’re certainly old enough to be taught the value of being an conscientious consumer that uses ethical judgment when making purchasing decisions.

Please don't beat us! (photo credit: William Warby)

The Unites States military uses live pigs for target practice and then kills them.

There’s even a name for it. It’s called “Live Tissue Training” and “involves purposely injuring the pigs, then euthanizing them after the training is completed”.

Apparently “They use pigs to help re-create battlefield injuries,” per Lt. Dan DeSousa of the San Diego County Department of Animal Services.

According to this article

The pigs are used to train military personnel in critical lifesaving techniques such as stopping massive hemorrhaging and clearing airway blockages, according to military officials.

“It has proven to be the single most-effective medical-training method for teaching combat care,” according to a statement issued by the Marine Corps.

Now don’t get me wrong – I support our troops one hundred percent. I want to be clear – I have the utmost respect and gratitude to those men and women who choose to put their lives on the line to protect our country. Living in San Diego, we’re surrounded by reminders of the sacrifices our military personnel – and their families – have made.

So I don’t mean to sound insensitive when I ask – isn’t there another way?

Must we kill pigs?

Allegedly pigs are as smarter than a three-year-old child – at least as smart as dogs. Would it be acceptable if these were canine targets?

We're too cute for Live Tissue exercises! (photo credit: bobcatnorth on Flickr)

I’ve got plans this weekend, so before I get too caught up on my soapbox, I’ll stop here and include the links below so you can read the articles yourselves. I’m curious to hear your point of view.

• Live Tissue Training Started Years Ago
• Hundreds of Local Troops to Wound Pigs
• Shock Video Shows Ringling Bros. Beating Elephants
• ringlingbeatsanimals.com

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Help me sing it . . .
Ma ma se, Ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa

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There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle. -Deepak Chopra

photo credit: miss blackbutterfly on Flickr

Although I consider myself a spiritual person, I don’t view myself as especially religious. My ties to Judaism are driven more by tradition and culture than by adhering to its tenets.

Tradition motivated me to continue to go to temple for the “High Holidays” after moving to Seattle.  It was at one of the Seattle services that I heard a sermon that’s stuck with me, nearly a decade later.  I’ll do my best to share the rabbi’s message here:

We each carry within us puzzle pieces. Some of these pieces belong to our own puzzle, some belong to other people’s puzzles.

photo credit: rpongsaj on Flickr

As we encounter people throughout our lives, puzzle pieces are exchanged. Sometimes we give pieces, sometimes we receive them.

Often we may not realize the exchange was made until time has passed, more pieces accumulated to help identify where it fits into our internal puzzle.

Similarly, we’re often unaware when we’ve handed someone a piece to their puzzle. Exchanges can be made in the briefest of encounters.  Intentions or impressions don’t have a bearing on these exchanges.

Receiving a puzzle piece does not mean it’s yours to keep. Sometimes pieces remain stashed away, until we encounter the intended recipient after time has passed.

I love this metaphor. It adds meaning to each person I connect with as I journey through life.

The internet gives our puzzle pieces immortality – though these exchanges may be one-sided, blogs and online profiles become repositories we can sort through long after the contributor has left this world.

photo credit: zappowbang on Flickr

My dad, Mike Zaklin, had a puzzle repository that must have been the size of the Atlantic, if not larger.

Dad was a walking “LinkedIn” before it existed. Dad talked to everyone – he loved meeting people and hearing their stories. When we’d travel, we’d often find ourselves (impatiently) waiting for my father to finish the conversation he’d sparked with the shopkeeper or person on line behind us.

A gym teacher, I don’t need to talk to his past students to sense that his lessons extended beyond playing dodge ball (“bombardment” in my day!).  Dad never hesitated to offer advice to friends of mine (or my brother) – in later years this would extend to my co-workers he’d had a chance to meet.

photo credit: Eva the Weaver on Flickr

Dad possessed a curiosity that I found infuriatingly frustrating when he was alive – a curiosity I’m envious of now.

Anything mentioned in passing would be followed by a barrage of inquiries. Lacking the same inherent curiosity myself meant these questions usually went unanswered.

Sometimes dad would share a story to help shine a new perspective on life. Other times he’d make a phone call to a friend he thought might be able to help someone he’d met get the right job.

Dad was about relationships - not “connections” – and the value he placed on these meant he could rely on them to find scholarships for his students, doing his share to empower people to follow their dreams.

To keep my dad’s puzzle pieces alive, I share these “Michaelisms” with you.

1. When asked where he preferred to sit in a restaurant, smoking or non-smoking, my dad’s reply would be “no children”.
2. When referring to jewelry or pottery my dad didn’t actually like he would say: “Looks like that was made in therapy”.
3. If you said, “See you later or tomorrow;” my dad would say, “Thanks for the warning”.
4. Whenever we would rush to be on time my dad would always say, “Let’s hurry up and wait”.
5. To credit someone with less than favorable behavior, even his own, my dad would say, “You can take him any place twice; the second time to apologize”. (something I say about myself often!)
6. Interjected into many of my dad’s lengthier stories: “To make a long story medium…”
7. As my dad got older, his hair remained dark, except for his beard.  If someone commented on my dad’s graying temples he would say, “Yeah, I’m extinguished”. (instead of “distinguished”)
8. If your hair looked bad my dad would say, “You have a hair don’t instead of hair do.”
9. If a large woman would bend down in front of him my dad would say, “You can show a movie on her behind!”
10. Having cancer meant endless tests.  Whenever we would get another medical report my dad would say,  “They don’t call it a “practice” for nothing.” (doctors are still learning as they’re doing)
11. If you were on your way to use the bathroom my dad would say, “Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat!”

While the above give a picture of my dad’s (corny) sense of humor, the next three are lessons I think we all can benefit to remember:

1. To remind us of the fruitlessness of our frequent “if only’s”, my dad would reply: “If the queen had balls she would be the king.”
2. To make sure you put life in perspective and not overestimate one’s importance, my dad would say: “After Kennedy was shot, he was replaced by Johnson within minutes.”
3. My dad always felt that each of us need to show everyone respect: “Even if you’re the president of the United States, you owe someone the courtesy of a return phone call.”

photo credit: Travis Jon Allison on Flickr

Thank you for allowing me to share so personally here these past few days.

I encourage you to share your own experiences with “puzzle pieces”, memories of your parents, or other reflections in the comments.

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photo credit: from Toban Black's Flickr stream

Warren Buffet has lived in the same house in Omaha for the past 50 years.  When this was mentioned in an interview, Buffet replied by sharing this quote:

Success is getting everything you want.  Happiness is wanting everything you get. 

Now there’s a man who is truly rich – in more ways than one.

What is your definition of success?

Of happiness?

True wealth?

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Take a moment to think about the people who’ve inspired you most in life.

Are the first ones that come to mind ones that have inspired you to better yourself? To look inward? Or do they inspire you to action? To leave the world a bit better than it was when you entered it?

Inspire also means: “breathe in (air); inhale”. A healthy life depends on this ability to inspire. Is the ability to inspire others also a critical part to living a healthy life?

Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others.

- Robert Louis Stevenson.

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