The Fearless Blogger » musings

Danny & Annie: A Love Story

faryl — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:19:40 +0000

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

This post is dedicated to Danny and Annie. And to finding our own Danny or Annie in each of our lives.

Be warned: This will probably make you cry. Or at least have your eyes well up!

Hat tip (and a big hug): Ahmed Naguib

Graduation

faryl — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:11:03 +0000

Yay! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m furthering my goal to share as much of my story, with as many people who will listen, by posting excerpts of my writings from my 10-week experience with the Speak For Success’s Women’s Leadership Institute.

The prior posts have focused on where I was and were written prior to my acceptance to the program. Today’s post is the “transcript” of my speech I presented at our graduation. Although it, too, includes information about my past, it’s done so from a different vantage point and also continues to where I am now and what I am moving towards.

(Note: I’ve added section headings to help visually break up the different sections. They were not read as part of the speech.)

My Graduation Day Speech

Looking Back
Viewing life as a journey means living in the moment.

Still, it’s important to pause, to look back at the past. Like looking back down the mountain during a long hike, reflecting on past milestones reframes my perspective of where I am now, enhancing my appreciation of how far I’ve come.

A year ago, ashamed and embarrassed to tell friends what was going on, I’d isolated myself from everyone but my boyfriend.

Getting ready to share

My life was on my couch, blinds shut, blocking out the time of day. My boyfriend hadn’t stepped inside the door in six months, since even basic housekeeping had become too overwhelming for me.

I’d make plans I wouldn’t keep and spend days online trying to find work.

And I cleaned my ears.

Later, I’d learn it was OCD, exacerbated by stress and a change in medication. At the time, I only knew that I’d lose whole days – and sometimes nights – compulsively poking at my ears and it was gross, it was dangerous and it was something I didn’t want anyone to know about.

When I Knew I Needed to Change My Life
Waiting online at a food pantry –my food stamp benefits cancelled because I’d forgotten to file the paperwork in typical ADHD fashion – I knew something had to change.

I emailed my mother. I told her what my life had become. In admitting this to her, I would finally admit to myself what was going on.

I have a disability. My mental illness can be just as debilitating as a physical one. Recovery is not something I can manage on my own.

I shared this with my mother.

I asked for help.

What I Learned
When a cat is sick, its natural instinct is to hide its symptoms as long as possible. Cats feel vulnerable exposing weakness and will expend a lot of effort to not act sick. A cat’s illness often has reached a crisis stage by the time we notice something’s wrong.

A Life-Changing Experience

What I learned about myself from this experience is that my cats & I share more in common than just our love of days spent napping and eating. Unwilling to make myself vulnerable others, my life reached a crisis stage before I’d let anyone see something was wrong.

When I applied to the Women’s Leadership program, I’d been on my journey for several months. I was able to recognize the distance I’d covered. The steep path ahead was in my sight, and I was motivated to reach the summit. But, my lack of confidence, damaged self-esteem, and unfamiliarity with the upcoming landscape had stalled me in my path.

The Women’s Leadership Program helped me find my inner compass, and learn to trust it. I’ve learned how to create my own map. I can face the possibility that I may stray from my path, maybe even get lost, with confidence, because I’ve learned the skills to find my way back.

Where I Am
And, ten weeks later, I stand here, looking out at you from that summit.

I didn’t climb that steep path alone. Even as I pushed through the most arduous stretches, with my classmates – my sisters – and teachers by my side, I’ve loved every single moment and appreciate that each step brings its reward.

For a moment I stand still. Not stalled, but paused, to celebrate my accomplishment. Just as I’ve learned the value of looking back at where I’ve been, from this vista I am able to look forward at what lies ahead.

Oh, yeah! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

Where I’m Going
I continue on my journey with two new goals. The first, to seek out opportunities to share my story, so others like me might connect with it. We can feel stronger when we know we’re not alone. And I’m off to a running start: A CNN.com feature on overcoming phobias related my experiences as their example. (OK – so, at this point, the audience clapped and cheered!*)

The second goal points me to my next destination. I’ll be getting my coaching certification so I can help others adults with ADHD find the tools they need for journeys of their own.

Mom was there to share the celebration! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

*As a little background: I only mentioned the CNN post because several of my instructors asked me to add it to my speech. It wasn’t until about 10 minutes before I had to be out the door that I finally thought of a way to integrate it into my speech in a way that seemed to somewhat flow. Needless to say, standing on a stage and having over 150 people cheer you on is an incredible feeling (I highly recommend it). To have so many people recognize this particular achievement was probably one of the highest moments of my life.

Not Gonna Phone it in Tonight

faryl — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 11:00:49 +0000

I found this clip when I was looking for the Chris Farley videos for last next week’s post.

This is dedicated to anyone who may have been feeling – or maybe just realized – they’ve been “phoning it in” lately.

Hopefully it will inspire you to remember what it’s like to want to give 100% and maybe find your way back to that.

At the very least, it starts your week out with a solid dose of Steve Martin and a smile.

Just remember: If Rob Schneider can do it, so can you!

Leno: Conan, It’s Yours

faryl — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:39:54 +0000

click image to get your own Conan Hair portrait via Buzzfeed.com

The recent NBC “Tonight Show” battle has provided a wealth of video clips as each host and their supporters take on-air jabs at each other.

Of all the clips making the rounds this one may be the least current, but (in my opinion) it’s the most successful at making Leno look like a jerk. Proving that no one does a better job of making Jay look like an a-hole than Jay, it’s a clip of Leno’s 2004 announcement of his plans to hand the Tonight Show over to Conan in 2009.

Some classic quotes:

When I took this show over, boy there was a lot of animosity between me and Dave and who’s going to get it, and quite frankly a lot of good friendships were permanently damaged and I don’t want to see anybody have to go through that again.

You know, this show is like a dynasty. You hold it and then you hand it off to the next person and I don’t want to see all the fighting and all the who’s better and nasty things back and forth in the press so right now, here it is:

Conan it’s yours. See you in five years, buddy.

As James Poniewozik points out in his post about the video

. . .the biggest danger to Leno among the audience is not his money, or sympathy for Conan, or the notion that he was somehow pulling the strings behind NBC’s decision. It’s being seen as a phony. Or, more to the point, actually being a phony.

People will forgive a lot of comedians they love. They’ll forgive affairs, offensive remarks, arrests, jokes that crossed a line. But they rely on guys like Leno to puncture other people’s phoniness and to have an impeccable B.S. detector. . .

My guess is Leno’s B.S. detector finally broke down from the stress of Leno setting it off himself so frequently.

Update: I found this clip of Conan’s 2004 announcement on Funny or Die & I thought it was worth including

Leno Condones Cutting Baby in Half, NBC Glad to Chop Up Baby

faryl — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:19:00 +0000

I'm with Coco! (image courtesy of sirmikeofmitchell.com)

For months I’ve been perplexed, trying to figure out what is was that made the Leno show suck so very, painfully badly.

Confession: I used to enjoy Leno on the Tonight Show. I’ll even admit to being a bit of a fan. One that even followed Kevin Eubanks on Twitter. I actually was excited to watch the premiere of his prime time show.

I didn’t make it past the first half hour. Leno’s performance in his new time slot was so bad that I couldn’t even tolerate it as background noise. I found it to suck to such a degree that its extreme suckiness was a distraction. It’s douche chill bad.

Did he lose his writers? Is it the lack of a couch? Did taking so much time off impact Jay’s confidence? How could a show be THAT bad? What happened?! These were the questions that buzzed around my brain each night at 1opm since September 14, 2009.

Mystery Solved
Based on recent events, I finally have a theory. Sucking that badly was no accident: Leno’s been sucking intentionally!

It’s all part of his master plan to get his old spot back hosting the “Tonight Show” and NBC execs were in on it too.

How else do you explain the chain of events that boils down to NBC rewarding Leno’s abysmal ratings by giving him exactly what he wanted all along?

It’s a dickhead move – but so is Leno claiming he wanted Conan to have a smoother transition than his, pulling a Farve, sucking badly enough to make NBC forget about their “let’s give it a year and see/we’re in it for the long haul” position and then watching Conan get the poop end of the stick.

The Scenario
How did NBC even present it to Conan? Picture it:

“Hi, Conan. Have a seat. We’ll get right to the point: Affiliates are pissed Leno’s new show sucks bad enough that even the ‘Today Show’ is suffering, so we’re going to give him your time slot.

Obviously we value your input. So it’s up to you: Give Leno the first half of your time slot, screwing the existing late night line-up or you can leave and give Leno your entire time slot.”

I imagine the expression on Conan’s face was a slightly more befuddled version of the one that resulted from his on-air concussion.

Cutting the Baby In Half
To use the metaphor of the Judgment of Solomon, Leno killed his baby then tried to switch it for Conan’s living one.

NBC is King Solomon. NBC’s solution is to cut the living baby in two, giving each host half. Leno eagerly accepts. Rather than allow NBC to slaughter his baby, Conan tells them to just give it to Leno.

This is where reality breaks from the biblical allegory.

King Solomon, recognizing that the true mother’s instinct was to protect her baby’s life, even if it meant giving it up, gave the baby to the rightful mother. When Conan stated he would rather walk away rather than participate in the “Tonight Show” legacy’s destruction, NBC gave his baby to Leno.

Yeah, that makes sense.

If You Love Someone, Set Them Free
I am sad to see Conan go. I’ve been a Conan fan since he took over for Letterman.

A shared love of Conan was one of the ways my sweetie and I first bonded in those early, “getting-to-know you” stages of our our relationship. Not only were we in the studio audience to celebrate Conan’s first night as host of the “Tonight Show”, we were there for Conan’s first “practice” show the week prior.

I’ve been coveting Andy Richter’s job ever since.

All the same, I’m glad Conan’s walking away.

Conan deserves better.

A Quick Message from Me to Leno
Gee, Jay:

Didn’t you kind of get your turn? Sorry you screwed up and agreed to leave before you were ready – maybe I can suggest a good therapist to help you work through your regrets.

Surely you don’t need the money?

Oh, it’s for your ego? Well that’s okay then. I mean, it’s not like Conan had other opportunities to turn down, or that he moved himself, his family and his entire staff across the country or anything, right?

And of course it’s all NBC’s fault, I imagine. Well, at least it gives you some current material for your monologue. Glad you find it funny – personally, I’d feel humiliated.

But then again, I’m not you.

See, if I’d created the situation that you have, Conan wouldn’t have to be making any decision – I would have had the humility and grace to walk away before that option was even on the table. Given the hoops NBC’s been jumping through, I gather your hands were not exactly tied.

A few expressions come to mind:

Karma’s a bitch.
What goes around, comes around.
We reap what we sow.
You get what you deserve.
Jumping the shark.

You could figure out how to resurrect the dead and arrange a Beatles’ reunion and I still wouldn’t tune into the “Tonight Show”.

You effed with Cone-sy.

Personally, I’d rather watch Glenn Beck spoon feed mayonnaise to Sarah Palin than watch anything with you in it again.

Conan's first night hosting the Tonight Show. (If you look closely, you can see me & my fella in the audience!)

Happy Thanksgiving – Muppet Style

faryl — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:17:07 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving!

This year marks a first for the Fearless Blogger – preparing Thanksgiving dinner!

Since I can’t work my tofurky magic sitting here blogging, I’m relying on my muppet friends to host my online holiday celebration.

Can’t Make Pumpkin Pie Without Pumpkins!

How Not to Roast a Turkey

Thanksgiving is About Family – The Swedish Chef & His Uncle

A Turkey that Likes Thanksgiving?

Ode to Joy

Sarah Palin Supporters are Just Like Her: All Talk No Brains

faryl — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:30:27 +0000

Sarah extolls the virtues of running (from runnersworld.com)

Here’s the deal: I want to share this video with you, but it’s late and I’m tired.

Frankly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stay awake long enough to provide some example to substantiate this post’s title.

I know, I know – people can’t just go around making bold assertions – blanket generalizations – without providing evidence to back them up. It’s just not done! No one’s going to buy into empty cliches.

No amount of winks and catch-phrases can distract people from the absence of verifiable facts.

I get it – generic and vague isn’t good enough. People need specifics. I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.

In the meantime, check out this video of Sarah Palin fans sharing the reasons they support her.

What’s that?

Without a single example to support my accusation, do I actually expect people to take this post seriously?

You betcha.

On November 20, 2009, at a Borders bookstore in Columbus, Ohio, Sarah Palin held a book signing event in support of “Going Rogue”. Palin’s supporters wanted her to run for the presidency, but they weren’t exactly sure what she’d do as president. Short on specifics, most of them were uncertain what her policy positions are. They just felt that they liked her. She’s “real”. And that the solution to all of our country’s problems—health care, energy, the deficit, unemployment, and the economy—was to cut taxes and lower spending, and Palin, they said, would solve them by doing just that.

This NEW LEFT MEDIA film was produced and edited by Chase Whiteside (interviews) and Erick Stoll (camera).

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.

faryl — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:16:45 +0000

"Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is." - Yoda

I was trying to think of a blog post topic that would give me a good excuse to share this photo of little Jazz (my nephew).

It occurred to me that whenever I find something that puts a smile on my face, I like to include it here, so I can share the smile with you.

Well, looking at this picture, I can’t help but smile ear-to-ear. I hope it puts a grin on your face too!

(I think that’s as good enough of an excuse for a blog post as any – don’t you?)

Happy belated Halloween! May the force be with you!!

Books are to Jews as the Kindle is to . . . ?

faryl — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:42:32 +0000

image credit: Magh

Since I’m Jewish, curious, and a procrastinator I had no choice but to follow the link included in this tweet (Confession: I’m checking Twitter and now blogging instead of cleaning my kitchen.)

In his essay on protecting the printed word, The Electronic Book Burning, Alan Kaufman compares the current shift towards electronic media (and the resulting impact on small bookstores) to a Nazi pogram (and the resulting murders of 99 Jews, imprisonment in concentration camps of 25,000-30,000 Jews and the destruction of 267 synogogues [source]):

the awful scene [that] is reoccuring everywhere: venerable, much beloved bookstores closing and that portion of the populace who cherish books—an ever-shrinking minority—left baffled and bereft; a silent corporate Krystallnacht decimating the world of literacy.

And I thought I’m dramatic!!

Granted, I’ve never written, much less published, a book, so it’s perfectly reasonable that I don’t share such strong views on the value of the medium over the content.

That said, although understanding Kaufman’s background helps add a bit of context to the essay’s metaphor, somewhere in between the comparison of the destiny of inanimate objects to human beings and the correlating comparison of market-trend and consumer-driven business decisions to the calculating, hate-filled “Master Plan” of the Nazi’s, his message gets a bit lost.

image credit: Patrick Correia

Before you think I may be over-reacting, I’ll share some additional passages from the essay:

Like any product, the book must run harder and faster in the marketplace or else fall and die. And the books are falling. Only the fittest now survive. While mid-list authors drop in the snow, blockbuster thrillers and middlebrow memoirs and diet books huff their way forward. Soon, though, they too will drop. The idea is for no one to be left standing. All physical books must go up the chimney stack. Such was the methodology of the SS who forced their prisoners to run naked races round and round the barracks yard in the Polish winter, a race that no one was meant to win.

The book is fast becoming the despised Jew of our culture. Der Jude is now Der Book. Hi-tech propogandists tell us that the book is a tree-murdering, space-devouring, inferior form of technology; that society would simply be better-off altogether if we euthanized it even as we begin to carry around, like good little Aryans, whole libraries in our pockets, downloaded on the Uber-Kindle.

Rather than add my commentary as to whether I agree if books are “despised” or with the author’s view of proponents of electronic media as “hi-tech propagandists”, I’ll share a bit more from the essay:

Not since the advent of Christianity has the world witnessed so sweeping a change in the very fabric of human existence. Behind the hi-tech revolution is an idea of Progress that in many regards resembles the premises of Christianity itself. The superseding of the new way over the old, of the New Testament over the Old Testament, the discrediting of the traditional as inferior or even evil, a sense of powerful excitement about the revolutionary, and of course, most importantly, the promise of heavenly immortality over the temporal limitations of the wasting physical body—the accursed haptic book versus the blessed Holy Ghostly Internet—all these earmark the hi-tech pogrom against the book.

Hmmn. Let’s continue, shall we?

Heinrich Heine, the early 19th century German Jewish poet, wrote: “”Where they burn books, they will ultimately also burn people.”

OK. Well, the above quote from the closing paragraph actually resonates with me.

And then it is quickly overshadowed by one last final metaphor:

The advent of electronic media to first position in the modern chain of Being—a place once occupied by God—and later, after the Enlightenment, by humans—is no mere 9/11 upon our cultural assumptions. It is a catastrophe of holocaustal proportions. And its endgame is the disappearance of not just books but of all things human.

Just a thought here. As a general practice – regardless of the comparison one is attempting to illustrate – the adjective “mere” is not probably not an appropriate adjective to be paired with “9/11″. The expression “too soon” comes to mind (among other expressions, I won’t get into!).

I appreciate the value of the printed book as an art form and small bookstores as a culture.

All the same, I think the comparison is a stretch. And frankly a bit offensive - insensitive at the very least.

That’s just me though.
What do you think?

Read it here:
THE ELECTRONIC BOOK BURNING by Alan Kaufman (Evergreen Review No. 120, October 2009).

Glenn Beck: World’s Cure for “That Not-So-Fresh-Feeling”

faryl — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:18:45 +0000

image credit: Sharyn Morrow

Glenn Beck may easily be the world’s biggest douche bag.*

There. I said it.

I’m no saint, but I try my best to practice “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”. I also try to make a conscious effort not to fill this blog with angry rants or negativity.

But today, the gloves are coming off.

Although his actions leave a bitter taste in my mouth (a taste remarkably vinegar in nature), I’d like to just consider Glenn Beck a sorry idiot -- to find compassion in my heart for the struggle life must be for such a delusional moron (I’m not one to make light of the mentally ill).

Thing is, Glenn Beck is more than a moronic douche bag. He’s a dangerous moronic douche bag. Because unbelievably -- sadly (and unbelievably sadly) -- our country is filled with people who are so mentally lazy and emotionally stunted that they eagerly swallow every inane morsel he dishes out -- and then regurgitate it as “fact”.

If Fox News considers what they offer to be “factual news” and not political perspectives, then I can comfortably assert that it is a fact that Glenn Beck is indeed the World’s Biggest Douche Bag (“WBDB”).

The WBDB‘s attempt to politicize Yom Kippur as an opportunity for “Fast and Prayer for the Republic” (video above) is hard to top, but this latest tidbit from the Huffington Post achieves at least a close second:

The Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF), a Hollywood charitable organization, has helped to organize a push in the television industry to encourage volunteerism among the citizenry. The support for volunteerism will be spread across 60 shows, and in some cases woven into the plot lines.

Enter Glenn Beck, who reads in this yet another conspiracy theory that President Obama is using Hollywood in an attempt to turn American in a communist nation: “Well, this is fantastic. It’s almost like we’re living in Mao’s China right now.”

Beck seems worried that by encouraging more volunteerism we’re creating a problem, or a crisis, that will be exploited later, but it is difficult to follow the logic. Basically, Beck’s main point is that President Obama and Hollywood and the media are colluding to control your lives by promoting more community service and civic participation.

View full story & video at HuffingtonPost.com

Really?
Mao’s China?! I have to wonder if most of the WBDB’s viewers actually know what that means, much less who Mao is.

So . . .Encouraging a spirit of community and helping other Americans in need can be equated to communist China.

Really.

I guess if that’s the case, then I’m volunteering to bring the chopsticks.

Anyone care to join me? :-)

*Apologies to Massengill and the rest of the vaginal hygiene industry for the unsavory comparison. All the same, I couldn’t resist including this precious moment:

The Fearless Blogger » musings

Danny & Annie: A Love Story

other posts you might enjoy

Graduation

similar posts you might enjoy

Not Gonna Phone it in Tonight

other posts you might enjoy

Leno: Conan, It’s Yours

similar posts you might enjoy

Leno Condones Cutting Baby in Half, NBC Glad to Chop Up Baby

similar posts you might enjoy

Happy Thanksgiving – Muppet Style

similar posts you might enjoy

Sarah Palin Supporters are Just Like Her: All Talk No Brains

similar posts you might enjoy

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.

similar posts you might enjoy

Books are to Jews as the Kindle is to . . . ?

other posts you might enjoy

Glenn Beck: World’s Cure for “That Not-So-Fresh-Feeling”

similar posts you might enjoy