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Turn Survivors into Leaders in Less Than 5 Minutes

faryl — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 05:59:48 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0htl3nHLBg

“Empower women who have overcome adversity to be leaders in their lives, their families, and their communities.

Through her vision & the Women’s Leadership Institute, Dana Bristol-Smith changed my life (so much so, that I’ve recently been offered -- and accepted -- a position on its Advisory Council). We are currently in the running at the Pepsi Refresh Project to make it possible for more women to experience the same!

YOU can help us win a
$50,000 grant to
Expand the Women’s Leadership Institute throughout California

The top ten highest vote-getters in our category will be funded,
so please vote daily and encourage your friends to do the same!

To embed a widget on your own site, copy & paste the following code:

Graduation

faryl — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:11:03 +0000

Yay! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m furthering my goal to share as much of my story, with as many people who will listen, by posting excerpts of my writings from my 10-week experience with the Speak For Success’s Women’s Leadership Institute.

The prior posts have focused on where I was and were written prior to my acceptance to the program. Today’s post is the “transcript” of my speech I presented at our graduation. Although it, too, includes information about my past, it’s done so from a different vantage point and also continues to where I am now and what I am moving towards.

(Note: I’ve added section headings to help visually break up the different sections. They were not read as part of the speech.)

My Graduation Day Speech

Looking Back
Viewing life as a journey means living in the moment.

Still, it’s important to pause, to look back at the past. Like looking back down the mountain during a long hike, reflecting on past milestones reframes my perspective of where I am now, enhancing my appreciation of how far I’ve come.

A year ago, ashamed and embarrassed to tell friends what was going on, I’d isolated myself from everyone but my boyfriend.

Getting ready to share

My life was on my couch, blinds shut, blocking out the time of day. My boyfriend hadn’t stepped inside the door in six months, since even basic housekeeping had become too overwhelming for me.

I’d make plans I wouldn’t keep and spend days online trying to find work.

And I cleaned my ears.

Later, I’d learn it was OCD, exacerbated by stress and a change in medication. At the time, I only knew that I’d lose whole days – and sometimes nights – compulsively poking at my ears and it was gross, it was dangerous and it was something I didn’t want anyone to know about.

When I Knew I Needed to Change My Life
Waiting online at a food pantry –my food stamp benefits cancelled because I’d forgotten to file the paperwork in typical ADHD fashion – I knew something had to change.

I emailed my mother. I told her what my life had become. In admitting this to her, I would finally admit to myself what was going on.

I have a disability. My mental illness can be just as debilitating as a physical one. Recovery is not something I can manage on my own.

I shared this with my mother.

I asked for help.

What I Learned
When a cat is sick, its natural instinct is to hide its symptoms as long as possible. Cats feel vulnerable exposing weakness and will expend a lot of effort to not act sick. A cat’s illness often has reached a crisis stage by the time we notice something’s wrong.

A Life-Changing Experience

What I learned about myself from this experience is that my cats & I share more in common than just our love of days spent napping and eating. Unwilling to make myself vulnerable others, my life reached a crisis stage before I’d let anyone see something was wrong.

When I applied to the Women’s Leadership program, I’d been on my journey for several months. I was able to recognize the distance I’d covered. The steep path ahead was in my sight, and I was motivated to reach the summit. But, my lack of confidence, damaged self-esteem, and unfamiliarity with the upcoming landscape had stalled me in my path.

The Women’s Leadership Program helped me find my inner compass, and learn to trust it. I’ve learned how to create my own map. I can face the possibility that I may stray from my path, maybe even get lost, with confidence, because I’ve learned the skills to find my way back.

Where I Am
And, ten weeks later, I stand here, looking out at you from that summit.

I didn’t climb that steep path alone. Even as I pushed through the most arduous stretches, with my classmates – my sisters – and teachers by my side, I’ve loved every single moment and appreciate that each step brings its reward.

For a moment I stand still. Not stalled, but paused, to celebrate my accomplishment. Just as I’ve learned the value of looking back at where I’ve been, from this vista I am able to look forward at what lies ahead.

Oh, yeah! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

Where I’m Going
I continue on my journey with two new goals. The first, to seek out opportunities to share my story, so others like me might connect with it. We can feel stronger when we know we’re not alone. And I’m off to a running start: A CNN.com feature on overcoming phobias related my experiences as their example. (OK – so, at this point, the audience clapped and cheered!*)

The second goal points me to my next destination. I’ll be getting my coaching certification so I can help others adults with ADHD find the tools they need for journeys of their own.

Mom was there to share the celebration! | photo credit: Lou Adzima

*As a little background: I only mentioned the CNN post because several of my instructors asked me to add it to my speech. It wasn’t until about 10 minutes before I had to be out the door that I finally thought of a way to integrate it into my speech in a way that seemed to somewhat flow. Needless to say, standing on a stage and having over 150 people cheer you on is an incredible feeling (I highly recommend it). To have so many people recognize this particular achievement was probably one of the highest moments of my life.

Crossing a Threshold: Where the Internet Ends

faryl — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:50:28 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMnpWYaCKB0

(watch at your own risk!)

Might as well close up the internet and go home -- there couldn’t possibly be anything left to share that is cuter than this.

Now, it’s no secret that I love ice cream. Or that I love cats. And yes, I am incredibly fond of cats wearing hats. Imagine, if you will, if one were to somehow combine ice cream and cats and hats.

Don’t worry if you can’t. Prior to 10 minutes ago, the idea of such a medley was far beyond my realm of possibilities.

So, we’re in complete agreement: It would be too much.

It would be like the cuteness equivalent of “The Light” in Lost -- a threshold so very tempting, but one I’d dare not cross.

Of course in L.A., the concept of “too much” just doesn’t exist.

In fact, a cat in a hat with ice cream is just barely “enough” in L.A. L.A. takes it to the next level.

L.A. gives us a kitten wearing a tiny hat eating a miniature ice cream cone. As a commercial! I couldn’t even pick which words to italicize because it’s all just too friggin’ cute!

Gotta love L.A.!

A kitten’s tiny hat tip to: Kitten In Tiny Hat Eats Ice Cream | Comedy.com.

4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!!

faryl — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 06:30:59 +0000

In the market for a talk show?

If you don’t mind one that’s been slightly used, Conan’s listed his on Craigslist!

4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!!

This is a chance of a lifetime to own your very own late night talk show–guaranteed to last for up to seven months!! Really must see to appreciate.

Information for potential buyers:

- Measures 100’ x 100’ x 32’ – plenty of room for a futon!

- Designed for 11:35 but can be easily moved

- Band can be sold separately

- Buyer must honor Barry Manilow booking next Thursday

MAKE ME YOUR BEST OFFER!!!!! (Also willing to trade for Coldplay tickets.)

(How much for just La Bamba?)

New Sitcom Features David Cross & Will Arnett (some good news & some bad news about it)

faryl — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:09:55 +0000

The good news:
Will Arnett and David Cross are back on TV in a new sitcom!

The bad news*:
The new show only airs in the UK.

*unless you live in the UK

Based on this three minute clip of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, my thoughts:

It’s funny.
People swear a lot on TV in the UK (or at least American characters do).
It’s been too long since Will Arnett and David Cross have been featured in a sitcom.
Hopefully the show will make its way to iTunes (and soon!).
I forgot to mention that Spike Jonze is part of the cast too.
I am shallow enough to consider (if only for a fleeting moment) moving to the UK solely to be able to watch a television show.

Here’s the clip:

(via The Huffington Post)

Awesome Sauce: Neil Young Covers Fresh Prince

faryl — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:12:35 +0000

This post goes out to all the Neil Young/Fresh Prince fans out there.

Well – Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young, that is. But it’s a cool cover nonetheless! And maybe one day?

(From Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.

faryl — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:16:45 +0000

"Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is." - Yoda

I was trying to think of a blog post topic that would give me a good excuse to share this photo of little Jazz (my nephew).

It occurred to me that whenever I find something that puts a smile on my face, I like to include it here, so I can share the smile with you.

Well, looking at this picture, I can’t help but smile ear-to-ear. I hope it puts a grin on your face too!

(I think that’s as good enough of an excuse for a blog post as any – don’t you?)

Happy belated Halloween! May the force be with you!!

How did you get here?

faryl — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:30:18 +0000

photo credit: Marty Desilets

Included with my daily WordPress blog stats is a list of terms people used to find my blog.

If I was more focused on SEO, my fascination with these terms might have a more strategic focus. Instead, I love looking to see the random ways people happen upon my corner of the world wide web.

Looking at the terms, I can usually tell which of my posts the person ended up visiting. Many times, the connection is so abstract, I can’t help but wonder what their reaction is when they find themselves here.

Granted, I’m sure there’s a lesson in this for me on how to better tag my posts and leverage key words for more accurate search results. But for now, I’m looking at the terms solely for purposes of my own amusement.

I’ve decided to use this post to capture some of my favorites.

Here’s my list – I’ll continue to add to it:

eating sweets and head lice¹
edgar181²
allen thicke tahiti village
ode for a couch
bear old daddy
recent blogs on sneezing 2009
scobleizer baby tweet
vanity and ego
“most complained about commercials”
how do i connect my l shaped couch?
magic.man.joe
couch mit cumulus funktion
pig and woman sex³

¹This one is my favorite. For the curious, my guess is it linked to this post.
²This is my second favorite. ”Edgar181” is the fastidious Wikipedian who quickly and deftly removed the Wikipedia page someone had created about me/this blog. My guess here is that the search results were the result of my tweeted dismay of the page’s removal showing up in my twitter widget (in the sidebar). The petty side of me hopes it was edgar181 ego searching and that he was horribly disappointed, yet compelled to spend hours reading my blog.
³Really?

Your turn:

What are the most random terms you’ve found people use to happen upon your website?
How did YOU get here?

Free Fall | Dedicated to my Brother

faryl — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 06:40:46 +0000

I know it’s almost Election Day and there’s so many topics I could be writing about. Even, should be writing about, perhaps?

And I actually have some topics I’ve started writing about. Thoughts on social media and you (yes, you).

Candidly, while I hope those topics are ones you’ll find informative and interesting, if I write those instead of what I’ve decided to write, it’s because I’m being strategic about my blog. Because I’m playing it safe.

It would not be fearless.

So those will wait. Tonight, before I click “publish”, I’ll take a deep breath. I’ll second guess myself. I’ll wonder if this maybe would have been more appropriately shared in an email instead.

If you’re reading this, then tonight I decided to stay committed to being fearless.

Tonight I free fall.

This is for my brother, Ryan. He’s doing his Residency at Harvard (MGH).

On Friday he & my sister-in-law took my nephew trick-or-treating in the Beacon Hill neighborhood.

Ryan – Just was thinking of you and wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and how much I love and admire you.

Maria told me about trick or treating & going to John Kerry’s house. A small moment. A fun story. But for some reason I keep going to it in my mind.

Not sure if I can articulate what’s my head & heart, but here’s my attempt:

Parallel images/thoughts/visions sort of like a montage in a movie. Or maybe a music video.

You. Walking up stone stairs to greet John Kerry. You tell him you work with his daughter.

You. Arriving at Eli’s Little Gym in C’ville. You’re still dressed from work.

Eli. His eyes fix on the doorway as he notices you and grow large. His smile grows even larger. He runs towards you.

You. I can see your pager clipped to your belt as you’re bending down to catch Eli and lift him in the air for a kiss. This was the first time it really hit me. You are a man now.

Me. Standing with grandma & grandpa while Mom brings you up the path to the house in New City, home from the hospital when you were born. Not sure how I remember something from when I was three, but the images are vivid.

You. You’re reaching to shake John Kerry’s hand. You grasp his hand. Firmly. Because dad taught us how to shake hands. “Never give anyone a fish!”

You. On the phone from Boston, calling me before you began your residency. Something about a necktie. I remember more, but this is my blog, not yours, so your conversations don’t belong out in the open here.

Me. On the other end of the phone, in San Diego. Thinking that Dad would have had the perfect thing to say to put things in perspective. Also thinking you’d be more than fine as soon as your first day began.

Senator Kerry. His eyes registering acknowledgment of his connection to you through his daughter. My gut tells me this man was the second President Elect of the United States to not to take office. The second man whose seat in the Oval Office was occupied by George Bush instead.

Joe. Telling me how John Kerry kicked ASS in a debate on CSPAN the other day. This is a bright, successful, accomplished, powerful man. This man is a leader.

John Kerry. Glad to meet someone from his daughter’s life. Someone who can also appreciate her accomplishments. At this moment, you are shaking hands with John Kerry, the father.

You. Turning and catching up with Maria and Eli. It’s Eli’s hand in yours now.

Dad. New Year’s Eve 2000, beside himself with the Joy of Family and being together.

Dad. I picture him telling people on the phone about your trick-or-treating. I picture him holding you in the same esteem (if not higher) than John Kerry. Mostly, I picture Dad Proud. I picture Dad smiling. (thank you for helping me picture him this way again)

You. One day in the future. Teaching Eli the right way to shake hands.

My dear sweet spectacular brother. Your accomplishments could fill this page five times over. I’m proud of you for each and every one.

Mostly I am proud of you for turning into such a wonderful father and special, special man.

You keep Dad’s spirit alive. Do you know that?

With so much love,

Your sister, Faryl

(P.S. Did I tell you I’m a fearless blogger now?)

The Fearless Blogger’s Maiden Voyage

faryl — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:58:05 +0000

I’m going to break the rules.

Just another rebel.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe that rules are made to be broken. I’m just also of the school of thought that one should learn, understand, and possibly master the rules before going ahead and breaking them.

The deal is, although I’ve been a long time observer, my participation in the blog-o-sphere has been limited to a plethora of RSS feed subscriptions, neglected tumble blogs and random tweets, peppered with the infrequent comment.

I’ve read the “how to’s” and “10 best ways to” and know better than to launch a blog without a cache of posts ready for publishing, a well thought-out “about” section, or – at a minimum – being able to clearly articulate what my blog’s objective is. And don’t leave out my education by numerous blogs emphasizing the importance of a consistent color scheme, clean CSS, SEO-friendly theme, font selection and everything that goes into a proper web design.

If that’s not bad enough, on top of being, let’s call it an “aspiring blogger” suffering a bad case of “paralysis by analysis” (not to mention a predisposition to the liberal use of quotation marks) which has left me on the proverbial sidelines; I’m also the owner of this domain. Yup. You read it right. “The Fearless Blogger”. But I’ve been too much of a coward to do anything with it – haven’t quite felt worthy. I’ve spent my entire life concerning myself with what other people think – so not exactly what I consider fearless.

Just between us.

I just kind of liked the name. I collect domain names the way Imelda Marcos collected shoes. Just thought it had a nice ring to it and that it might have good resale value to be honest. It hadn’t occurred to me to actually use it for myself. If anything, I could maybe use it to – this is rich – let other people (the truly fearless) host their brave blogs on a “fearless blogger” subdomain.

To be fair, at least, being female, I have an excuse for my increasingly evident lack of – ahem – “cajones”.

So what happened? Why now? Why do all the homework then throw caution into the wind and launch my blog without dotting my i’s, crossing my t’s? With no SEO-friendly wordpress theme. Without making sure my plug ins are working. Running off half-cocked before I have my ducks in a row, mixing all sorts of metaphors which basically are euphemisms for doing this “half-assed”?

Blog Action Day 2008. That’s why!

I had hopes. I had dreams.

As Blog Action Day was approaching, I found myself wishing I had “my blog” up and running so I could participate somehow.

And then the Aussies got a jump start on it and started posting about all sorts of online goodness going on.

Ooooh. I could comment. I could be the bestest and mostest commenter. And NEXT year, I could have a blog. And then I could participate. In Blog Action Day 2009.

Meh.

OR. I could be a wee bit fearless and follow the advice of the esteemed goddess Nike and just do it.

Yeah. I know.

say it ain't so

Blog action day was over a week ago.

I missed it.

But you know what I say to that?

I say:

“So what? I am The Fearless Blogger. That’s just how I roll.”

Some may say I’m quite a few days late for Blog Action Day 2008. I say I am MANY days early for Blog Action Day 2009.

If you want to know what a Fearless Blogger blogs about, I guess that’s what I’ll need to figure out next. I’m going to do my best to live up to the title!

But enough about me.

Let’s talk about Blog Action Day

Blog Action Day 2009 is less than 350 days away!

For those of you who don’t know what Blog Action Day is:

Blog Action Day is an annual nonprofit event that aims to unite the world’s bloggers, podcasters and videocasters, to post about the same issue on the same day. It’s aim is to raise awareness and trigger a global discussion.

You can read the FAQ here.

This year over 12,000 bloggers “banded together to discuss a single issue – poverty“. More than awareness was raised – there was fundraising as well. Some bloggers donated a portion of their blog’s earnings that day; others a set amount per comment or new subscriber.

For those who didn’t have an opportunity to contribute (or want to contribute more), you can do it here:

KIVA | CHANGE.ORG

I’m also posting some links and videos related to poverty. From the true Fearless Bloggers. May they inspire you the way they inspire me:

READ | WATCH

Yours truly,
Faryl, aka The Fearless Blogger
Because it’s better late than never!

The Fearless Blogger » favorites

Turn Survivors into Leaders in Less Than 5 Minutes

similar posts you might enjoy

Graduation

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Crossing a Threshold: Where the Internet Ends

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4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!!

similar posts you might enjoy

New Sitcom Features David Cross & Will Arnett (some good news & some bad news about it)

similar posts you might enjoy

Awesome Sauce: Neil Young Covers Fresh Prince

similar posts you might enjoy

Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is.

similar posts you might enjoy

How did you get here?

similar posts you might enjoy

Free Fall | Dedicated to my Brother

Tonight I free fall.

similar posts you might enjoy

The Fearless Blogger’s Maiden Voyage

I’m going to break the rules.

Just between us.

Blog Action Day 2008. That’s why!

Yeah. I know.

“So what? I am The Fearless Blogger. That’s just how I roll.”

Let’s talk about Blog Action Day

similar posts you might enjoy