For You? Or Me?
Last week as I reflected on my first month of blogging, I shared that I’ve found myself torn between writing for you and writing for me. I’m finding this to be the most challenging part of writing a blog.
As I see it, in order for my blog to remain genuine and “true”, for me to look forward to writing – if I’m to commit to being “fearless” – the answer seems obvious: I need to blog from the heart; write what I feel passionate about.
Yet I’ve found blogging to be somewhat of a codependent venture. If what I write isn’t relevant to your interests, is my blog a bit like the proverbial tree falling in the forest with no one there?
Do my words need to be read, for my voice to make a sound?
This is something each blogger needs to answer for themselves; it’s not the same for everyone.
To try to find my answer, I started with these questions:
Why am I blogging?
After lurking on the periphery, quietly exploring the worldwide web, silently leeching knowledge from the wealth of various blogs and forums, I made the decision to start this blog as my opportunity to contribute to the online dialogue. I want a place to share my discoveries, to voice my point of view beyond occasional comments, and to connect with other “netizens“.
In the past weeks I’ve realized this blog serves a purpose beyond my initial intentions: It’s become my online home. I now realize that – despite my numerous social network profiles - I was lacking a corner of cyberspace to call my own. Similar to buying a home, having a blog gives me a sense of putting down roots.
What criteria do I use to measure my blog’s “success”?
Although I have no qualms about monetizing this blog, its purpose is not revenue based. Blogging for me is far more a social, than financially 
motivated, experience for me. That said, it’s been tough for me to avoid the call of the “stats sirens”.
How many visitors did I get today? Which sites generate the most traffic? What blog post had the most readers? How many subscribers do I have?
I tell myself I’m interested in these numbers because they represent the quantity of people I’ve connected with; the more people who visit my site, the further my voice might carry.
I’ve since learned there’s a flaw in this way of thinking, evident when I answer the next question . . . .
Which part of blogging is most satisfying/enjoyable for me?
Without any doubt, the most gratifying part of blogging has been the opportunity to interact with the people who’ve stopped by my site; especially through your comments. Numbers mean nothing to me if there’s no genuine connection between me and the person each number represents.
stats are like sugar
A spike in my stats is a caffeine buzz; a sugar high. One single comment is nourishment. Comments turn statistics into humans. If my blog is my home, then the stats are passersby on my block, people who share my neighborhood. Vital to being part of a community, shielding me from isolation, but at arm’s length. A comment is like a neighbor dropping in long enough to take their coat off; meaningful exchanges become possible.
My blog is still young; I’m new on the block – not many people have dropped by for true conversation just yet. I understand that, and know five weeks into a blog there’s a need for patience. I remind myself not to write for the sake of volume; rather to focus on building relationships with my visitors – my guests. With you.
Yet I ask myself . . .
If no one were reading my blog, would I continue to write it?
Candidly, probably not. I’m here for the conversation; I prefer dialogue to a soliloquy. Diaries bore me.
So, I return to the original question:
Should I be writing for you or for me?
My conclusion? Neither. Well, actually, both.
I am writing for us.
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I definitely think that you can do both. When you write for yourself, leave your thought unfinished so that you're readers can add their own insight and finish your thoughts for you (just sayin'…). This is something that I did very early on when I started my blog…then it evolved into something else. Today, I miss writing for me and sharing some of those thoughts. I want to get back to it and will.
Good advice – thank you so much! I checked out your blog – really enjoyed it! I look forward to learning more from you.
So well said, Faryl. Every time I'm ready to throw in the towel, I get a comment and then I'm reinvigorated. For me that's the best part too :) Some days I enjoy Twitter much more than blogging, for that same reason. The immediate interaction with someone from the other side of the world (as happened today) is simply amazing…
When I started my blog it was initially for me, I wasn't bothered if others read what i had written. Then some comments started to be left and my heart beat a little bit faster and I wanted more. I have not become a slave to stats…..yet and I love visiting the sites of those who have left me comments so that I can return the compliment..
MA
Hi Carma! I completely agree about Twitter. I'd like to start stepping outside twitter to avoid getting caught in a twitter echo-dome, but I also love the opportunity it provides to encounter new people and extend conversations beyond commenting on specific blog posts. And I totally love the fact that some of the people I've connected with through blogs and twitter are continents away from here!
Thanks for the comment!
It's definitely the comments more than the stats! It's a chance to engage and get to know who stopped by. And, like you said, visit my readers' blogs are well. I think that's one of the most rewarding results of having a blog :-)
>Bottom line, don't be shy – no one is judging you
Some people see more afraid to post online because it seems so "permanent", but then there are the folks who seem less concerned about etiquette and being polite, because they're hiding behind a keyboard..
You've touched on a great point – one that many bloggers, and many would-be commenters – aren't totally aware of. I know many people who don't engage online because they think they're not enough of an expert. Yet the whole point is that our online activities are fueled by passion. When I write something in my blog, I'm happy to hear what others think about it. I'm not carving it on a stone tablet, for pete's sake!
Hmmm… I could write more, but your comment field doesn't expand and I can't see what I'm typing without stopping and moving the cursor. (Firefox 3 on MAC) You may want to look into that if you really want to entertain comments :)
Andrea Hill's Recent post…A new visual identity with crowdSPRING
I've had friends tell me “I don't leave comments because I'm not sure what to write”. I tell them – “Write what you just TOLD me! Or ask a question, if you don't understand something.” Bottom line, don't be shy – no one is judging you and comments are always appreciated.
Thanks for the heads up about the comment field, by the way – I've emailed IntenseDebate support about the problem. Someone else mentioned a similar issue & I thought it had been fixed. I value my readers too much for them to WANT to share their thoughts and not be able to! I hope you'll come back and share more once the problem's resolved!
Couldn't agree more! :-)